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Hello Hillsboro: A royal answer fit for a queen
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 There are many memories from this year’s Labor Day Celebration that will stick in people’s minds for a number of years, including the “on again-off again” weather threats.

For this reporter, the best laugh I’ve had at Firemen’s Park for longer than I want to say, came during the always entertaining Queen’s Pageant.

The contestants always look lovely, poised, and almost impossible to choose from. Most folks there are delighted they aren’t judges!

The highlight for me comes every year when the nervous candidates are tossed a question, picked at random, that may as well be direct from the Twilight Zone, rather than the judges. The girls have never heard it before, so there is no preparation in advance.

Needless to say, this setup is tailor-made for unexpected answers and, in many cases unexpected humor. And, of course, the answers are considered in the final judging.

Madison Mitchell got the zinger this year when she was asked, “If your pet could talk, what would you ask it?”

There isn’t a pet lover in the world who wouldn’t like that chance, but not without some serious thought first.

Madison took about three seconds to think about it, and she replied with a question  all pet owners must ponder at various times.

She said, “I would ask my cat: Why don’t you like me?”

Bingo! The audience all laughed and so did the judges.

I have no idea what the judges thought, but I’m guessing that answer was at least a  tie-breaker, if nothing else, because Madison spoke not only from the heart, but for millions of pet lovers everywhere.

So, now she’s the 2014 Firemen’s Labor Day Queen, and her cat deserves at least one extra treat this week.


A funny thing happened at the Badger-LSU season opening football game this weekend.

The Badgers entered their locker room at half time with a commanding lead against a strong opponent.

Then, for some reason, Head Coach Gary Andersen had them take off their pads and uniforms, so a local high school team could put them on and use them in the second half.

I know it sounds amazing, but the only other explanation is a powerful curse from someone who doesn’t like watching a game of musical quarterbacks during training.

If this is any kind of Badger preview, watch the upcoming Big Ten season at your own risk!


A quick question for my fellow senior citizen readers:

Why are retirees so slow to clean out their attic or garage?

Because they know as soon as they do, their kids will want to store their stuff there!