GAYS MILLS - Happy 4th of July to everyone. In honor of the occasion here are some lighthearted stories for you.
The ad read: SINGLE FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good-looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call (###) ###-#### and ask for Petra.
Over 10,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about a six-week old black Labrador puppy.
The Basque region of Spain is mountainous, rugged, and largely undeveloped. The Basque population sticks to the old ways there. In the remote villages a big event is an annual meeting of everyone in the village. The only building large enough to hold such a gathering is usually the town hall. Made of stone and hundreds of years old, the typical town hall has very few windows and only one door. At one such meeting there was an electrical problem and a small fire broke out. In the scramble to get out of the building, several people were hurt as they tried to evacuate the building.
The moral to this story of course is: Don’t put all your Basques in one exit.
An old prospector was walking along the desert highway on a very hot day. A man driving a big old Cadillac stopped to pick him up.
“Where you going, old timer?”
“My mule died the other day and I need to buy a new one. I can’t prospect without a mule to pack all my stuff. Say, how come you drive so fast?” asked the miner.
“Well, the faster I go the cooler this car runs.” came the reply, which made some sense to the miner.
They got to town and the driver dropped the miner off at a livery stable. “Good luck to you,” he said.
A few hours later, the man in the Cadillac was headed back the way he came. A few miles out of town he saw the prospector standing next to a prostrate mule. He pulled over and asked what happened. The miner replied: “I guess the darn thing froze to death.”
Then, there was the guy who entered a nationwide pun contest. He loved the play on words aspect of puns. He prided himself on constantly coming up with puns and entertaining his friends and colleagues with them. He thought in puns, collected puns, he couldn’t get enough of this “lowest form of humor.” He was very excited when he read about the pun contest. He took his time and winnowed a list of his best puns down to the top 10, the limit of what each person could submit. He was just sure that some pun of his would win. But when the results were announced he found out that not one pun in ten did.