GAYS MILLS - One of my favorite books, at least in the paperback, reference, humorous and philosophical section of my personal library, is ‘The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said.’  It’s a book you don’t just sit down and read to see how it ends. It’s more like a book to browse through once in a while. Loaded with wit and wisdom, it’s a book you tend to read a few quotes from and think about for the rest of the day.

So here are a few from the book:

“Getting caught is the mother of invention.”  -Robert Byrne

“Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis.” -Robert Heilbroner

“There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first.”    -Adela Rogers St. Johns

“I was married by a judge.  I should have asked for a jury.” -George Burns

“Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.”     -Garrison Keillor

“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”   -Mark Twain

“Children today are tyrants.  They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.”  -Socrates (470-399 B.C.)

“If you’re not beguiling by age twelve, forget it.” -Lucy (Charles Schulz)

“I was so naïve as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.” -Johnny Carson

“I like work; it fascinates me.  I can sit and watch it for hours.” -Jerome K. Jerome

“The income tax has made liars out of more people than golf.” -Will Rogers

“I am not young enough to know everything.”  -Oscar Wilde

“Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.” -Phyllis Diller

“I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.”  J.D. Salinger

“A bore is someone who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.  -Variously ascribed

“Part of the secret to success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”  -Mark Twain

“In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait.” -Jose Simon

“If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.” -Jim Eason

“I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts, because they don’t require so much cooking.”   -Carrie Snow

“The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you’re hungry again.” -George Miller