Every Nov. 11 is a painful day for family and friends of Ben Cullen for reasons that have nothing to do with Veterans Day.
Saturday will be the ninth anniversary of what his mother, Patti, calls his “angelversary” — the day Ben Cullen died of suicide at 27 years old.
Patti and Terry Cullen channeled the grief over a child’s death into BENS Hope — Because Everyone Needs Some Hope — a suicide prevention and awareness organization. It holds Survivors of Suicide support group meetings, and an annual 5K run and 2K walk in mid-September.
BENS Hope also holds an annual Helping Hands Giveaway, for those “you feel has blessed others with their kindness helping others, someone down on their luck needing help, or students attending college for mental health or social health service related majors.” Recipients are announced March 5, Ben’s birthday.
Patti Cullen has also written a book that will be released later this month, Tears of Love.
“My coach asked who should read this book … it's for young, elderly, rich, poor, atheist or believers,” she said. “It's for people who've lost a loved one to suicide, people who are struggling, or people who want to learn more about suicide or our story. God told me that His Son Jesus died to save others and that this book will help save lives. I'm trusting His truth.”
Ben Cullen’s online obituary describes him as “a considerate, thoughtful, and selfless person. He put others needs before his own, because that was his giving nature. He was always available at a moment’s notice for his family, friends, and colleagues. Ben was a constant and reassuring presence in their lives, always ready to lend a helping hand. …
“Ben touched so many lives of friends and family. His generosity will continue to touch the lives of many through his choice of being a donor.”
He graduated from Platteville High School in 2005. He worked in information technology and worked for Kaplan Professional in La Crosse.
“The book introduces readers to me and Benjamin ahead of our family's being blindsided by his decision to complete suicide,” she said. “It offers insight on the lessons we've learned since; how BENS Hope came to be; our ministry outreach efforts in and outside the community to reduce the suicide stigma, aid in suicide education and prevention and how Ben's death birthed a new mission in my life.
“God put this book idea on my heart four weeks after Ben's suicide instructing me tojournal my raw feelings. Initially I said no, but was obedient and did journal.”
The Cullens have spoken to numerous groups, including in schools.
“A message we share is that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation,” said Patti Cullen. “We reiterate suicide is not the answer. During our presentations, we offer insight on our story, focus on our lives as survivors and the impact Ben’s suicide has had. We have students prepare a Safety and Crisis Plan for when they're struggling and provide silicone bracelets with the Crisis numbers 741741 and 988, which are available 24/7.”
Patti Cullen is hosting the BENS Hope Grief and Healing Retreat Friday through Sunday for mothers who have had children die from suicide or other causes.
“The retreat is offered at no cost to moms because we feel they've already paid the biggest cost, they've lost their child and in some cases children,” she said. “They're offered a private room, bath and all meals and materials are covered by BENS Hope. We're able to offer this grief and healing retreat because of donations made to our ministry by gracious people in our community. While I can't walk their journey for these moms, God put it on my heart to walk with them.”
More information on BENS Hope is available at www.bens-hope.org and the BENS Hope Facebook page, including Tears of Love release information later.
