My mom was tired this morning. I could tell. I heard her alarm clock beeping, and it rarely does that. Mom usually hits the ground running, so to speak, before it even goes off. Not today, though. I could hear it all the way downstairs because I have sensitive ears.
I wish I could have climbed the stairs to turn off that darn beeping. I would have spent a few minutes cuddling with Mom and telling her how much I love her. I am getting old, though, and those stairs are just too steep. Things were different when I was younger. I would have been up there in a hop, skip, and a jump. Matter of fact, I used to sleep with Mom. Oh, don't go rolling your eyes. Mom and I are tight, and I am not embarrassed one bit to admit it.
The truth is we are so tight that I have been holding off dying. Yep, you heard that right. One of my hind legs has become useless and it takes me forever to get up and down, my teeth are worn out, and some days all I want to do is sleep in the sun. Food? Who needs it? I am trying to hang in there, though. Mom is kinda lost without me.
Yesterday, she was asking me where she put her keys! Go figure. It's hard enough keeping track of her shoes and socks and now she is asking me about her keys. You see how she is? Kinda sweet, but a bit helpless without me watching over her. I should not complain. I have had a good life with my mom. She always took me hiking and swimming and even sledding with her. Now that I am older she makes me stay home. I do not want to. I mean, really? Who will watch over her if I am here and she is somewhere else? Again, I try not to complain, but I'd really like to go with her. She feels it will hurt me to get into the car and out, but I could do it. Heck, for her I would do anything.
Including putting up a strong front. Some days, I notice her watching me. I try my hardest to look young and limber. I bound down the stairs, I run for my dinner, and I let her pet me and tell me how much she loves me without flinching when, sometimes, she is leaning on my bad leg.
Love is a many splendored thing. I love Mom unconditionally and she loves me. Duh. I know that. What Mom does not know is that I know she is thinking of sending me away. She feels it is best for me to go somewhere else. Mom constantly worries that I am in pain and watches me like a hawk. Only yesterday, I saw her out of the corner of my eye watching me eat. I tried to make it look good but these damn teeth of mine are old, old, old.
I do not want to leave Mom. My job here is not done. I worry, too, you know. It's not like Mom has the monopoly on worrying. I worry every day about who will watch over her, who will keep the farm going, who will watch the ducks and geese and those damn goats that get into everything. If she thinks she can do it alone, she's mistaken. If she thinks that black tank of fur, Tete, will be any help, she is dead wrong. That dog is useless. Useless, I say! I know. I watch her. She is trouble with a capital T and Mom has the nerve to say how cute she is over and over again. Disgusting. Makes me want to barf.
Uh-oh, here she comes... Mom is coming. I have to go. Tell you what, if you see my mom, tell her I said to stop worrying. I am old, but I am not ready to leave. When I am, she will be the first person I tell. Meanwhile, I just want to go lie down outside, somewhere in the sun, and take a nap.
It has been a good, good life.