Want to feel even older than you already do?

Sort of a stupid thought, but every once in a while that happens to me without any warning.

Having just about all I can stand of modern television’s idea of entertainment, and getting depressed by news reports, I have been reduced to watching some ancient reruns on those few channels who are smart enough to realize there is a market full of folks like me.

People who actually enjoy seeing people laugh rather than fight. It’s wonderfully refreshing to see a TV show without any explosions, shootings, torturing, or beheadings!

There are still a few wholesome comedies on TV, but forget the popular movies. Hardcore violent junk has actually become a staple of the popcorn chewing folks. How many times can you watch a gruesome slaying before it gets old?

Not to mention, actually losing your appetite for more popcorn.  Attending a movie today would do wonders for the waistline of a popcorn freak like myself!

I don’t know that for a fact because we haven’t had much luck at finding a movie to enjoy, especially with the current, staggering admission and concession stand prices.

There is little doubt that about 90% of today’s movies are made and marketed for teenagers and a bit older, who are seeking even bigger and more realistic stomach turning films. Don’t ask me how they can afford to be the target audience, but they are!

However, we started this tirade by mentioning a new way to feel old.

Look at a television rerun from your much earlier years and single out one of the young stars you related with while growing up. It’s a nice way to step back in time for a moment, but, trust me, it has it’s drawbacks.

Last week, I caught a rerun of “My Three Sons”, a delightful sit-com about a widower, Fred MacMurray,  raising three boys with the help of their maternal grandfather, Bub, and later Bub’s brother, Uncle Charley. I watched several episodes and was thrilled to discover that they didn’t include even one murder, or at least a sexual innuendo or two!

The middle son, Robbie Douglas, was played by Don Grady, who seemed to ring a bell in my memory. So, I Googled him and wished I hadn’t!

Turns out he also had been a Mickey Mouse Club star, a teen rock singer, and, of all things, already had died at the age of 68. I was shocked. He looked so young on the show I had just watched!

Then came the real stinger. The first episode of “My Three Sons” was shot in 1960, the year I graduated from high school.

It couldn’t possibly be more than “half a decade” since I watched that show every week. Come to think of it, however, it was filmed in black and white for its first five years!

So, I think I’ll lay off those old rerun stations and just read a good book. They don’t seem to age as fast as other things!

            ***

It used to be both fun and difficult for long, lost Cub fans like Ralph Roberts and myself to engage in verbal duels with Brewer fans every baseball season. Especially when we were always fighting our way out of the cellar while they seemed to always be at least in the race.

Life is a little bit easier these days since the rivals now have evolved into a highly charged battle.....for last place in their division!

Somehow, it doesn’t feel right to say things like “Our $136 million left fielder can strike out more than yours....and he isn’t even on drugs, at least that we know of yet!”

Or, "Our multi-million dollar flop at shortstop can build up more errors than yours, and he’s worth only about half the money!"

You get the idea! How many weeks until the start of Badger football?

            ***

This week’s smart-mouthed Caddie response to the world’s worst golfer:

Golfer: “I would move Heaven and Earth to break even on this course.”

Caddie: “Try Heaven, sir, you’ve already moved most of the earth!”