While cleaning out my computer, I discovered a number of old jokes that had been laying around since being sent by former high school buddies who, apparently, still have somewhat of a sense of humor at a somewhat humorless age!
We all graduated in January of 1960. Back then the Chicago schools were so crowded they had two classes in each year, leading to graduations in January and June!
Let the laughs begin:
A blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a handywoman and started ringing doorbells in a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to a front door and asked if their were any jobs that need to be done.
“Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch,” she said. “How much will you charge me?”
Delighted, the girl responded, “How about $50?”
The homeowner agreed and told her that everything she needed was in the garage.
The man’s wife, who overheard the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?”
“That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?,” he said.
The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m beginning to believe all those dumb blonde jokes.”
A few hours later, the blonde came to the door to collect her earnings.
“You’re finished already?,” the startled husband asked.
“Yes, the blonde replied. “And I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50, and also gave her a $10 tip.
“Thank you,” the blonde said. “And, by the way, it’s not a porch. It’s a Lexus!”
The federal government which has Tomahawk cruise missiles, and Apache, Blackhawk, Kiowa, and Lakota helicopters–and used the code name Geronimo in the attack that killed Osama bin Laden–officially objects to the name Washington Redskins!
And, here’s a few more of those amazing “laws:”
• The Law of Physical Appearance: If the clothes fit, they’re ugly!
• The Law of Public Speaking: A closed mouth gathers no feet!
• The Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find a product you really like, they will stop making it!
• The Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act!
• The Law of Physical Surfaces: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting!